I am hoping this isn't absolutely crazy, but I've read so many articles about the horrible thoughts about needing to disclose injury facts for your t. I am coping with almost the contrary.
I have several 'issues' that I am aware of from an emotionally/verbally abusive step father to a grownup that I trusted in high-school like a maternal figure that later showed she had different ideas for your connection... and then what is daily becoming more of the certainty that I've repressed very early punishment (I have always had terrors but am not hearing his and my speech in my own brain and it isnot pleasant exchange of words)... I have NEVER told details of some of this stuff. I've described to 2 people who "something" occurred with this person that was the level and I respected. I am affected by photographs, small video in my mind of those I recall now these voices of what I think.
Does this sound right to ANYONE? I understand I'd be HIGHLY embaressed to express the things I'd need to and I expect it'sn't something I want to talk, but cannot ill making me want to... But I am so worried we are going to spend years because he thinks I am worried tiptoeing across the facts and I am seriously wanting to pour the beans. I wish I could tell him this, however it is not allowed.
I also have found that I am unable to tell him SOMETHING if he does not ask and am dealing with a t. I've told him this and he is great at trying to ask me questions. The issue is, I can also not tell him things to ask. I know it could seem completely mad, but it is much like I'm prohibited to simply readily tell things-but I am allowed to answer honestly. He's gone backandforth about 'processing' stress and after that I believe I'm so calm about things happening that he does not think they starts to think we need to go another way and are. I get disappointed once I hear him talk about not addressing the trauma particularly and obtain very depressed and need to stop hope about ever getting relief. I cannot tell him that although it's like I UNDERSTAND I have to have these facts out. I believe he is also concerned I can not handle dealing with the trauma specifically due to my anxiety attacks, but I donot learn how to transform some of this. He discusses looking to take action with as small depth and stress that you can and I have read about every one of these new methods to handle PTSD without detailed handling, but I would like it so bad.